HAVING been working in Northern Ireland and Scotland for the last four weeks, I have been flying up and down from Heathrow each weekend. On seven of the eight journeys I took my small wheelie case onto the plane and stowed it happily in the overhead locker.

I travel light because it saves around 40 minutes waiting for checked-in luggage on arrival.

Over the four weeks, that's more than five valuable hours not spent standing in a baggage hall watching an empty belt go round.

Last week, however, a young lady who clearly didn't like the cut of my jib, asked me to prove that my case was within the current size limitation guidelines stipulated for carry-on luggage.

Confident that it was, as I had checked the BAA website and measured the case carefully, I lowered it into the stainless steel frame used to check luggage.

The handle on the end stopped it from going in smoothly. As I flattened the handle and pushed the case down, my inquisitor (who spoke English as a third language and was only eventually comprehensible) told me squashing was not allowed and I would have to check the bag in.

I explained that I had travelled into Heathrow two days earlier with the same bag which fitted effortlessly into the overhead locker.

It is not about the overhead locker, I was told, it is a security issue.

I suppose it was pointless to attempt to deflect the heavy hand of officialdom when it is in motion, but I enquired as politely as I could why the projecting handle of my wheelie bag presented a security issue.

She explained that any further discussion on the subject was pointless and that burly men with automatic weapons, who were not averse to casual torture, were willing and anxious to practise their techniques on me if I did not immediately trot off to the check-in counter.

Well - words to that effect, as far as I could deduce through her impenetrable accent.

Naturally, the Glasgow baggage carousel broke down and it was nearly an hour before I emerged, blinking, into a world of glazed and defeated fellow travellers.

This week I have crammed my smalls into a case so tiny that, even if my tormentor is on the gate again and has a good memory, she will be hard pressed to disqualify it for travel in the overhead locker to Aberdeen.

Wish me luck.