On the whole, I agree (that was a struggle getting those words on to the page) But there are some parental blunders I’d like to put to the Twitterers.

And of course, no one’s going to agree wholly with me either.

The worldly Jason S and Elissa P say they don’t tell their children they’re clever. Aren’t there any clever children out there? If there are, must we never say it? Gag ourselves? Is ‘clever’ another non-PC word. God help us.

(No, Albert, you’ve worked hard on that theory and I’m proud of you… but you’re not any better than the boy you sit next to at school… He has his own ideas which are just as valid.’ Pah!) And there’s worse. The ogre (and possibly envious) Angela M refuses to tell her daughter she looks pretty. What! She goes on to say she’ll tell her almost anything else except that. (‘I'll tell my daughter she looks smart, that she looks refined, that her hair really suits her, that her outfit is lovely, and any variation thereof…’) That explains the masses of girls whose parents don’t mind them looking slutty and vulgar in the heart wrenching hope they’ll be noticed by someone. Sure, they’ll be noticed.

The woman justifies it by saying, ‘If you wouldn't say it to a boy you shouldn't say it to a girl – I don't want to tie her self-worth to her physical appearance.’ What a pile of steaming waste product.

Why wouldn’t you say it to a boy? I say it to my 28-year old son. Angela ‘The Troll’ M thinks that acknowledging attractiveness will give rise to eating disorders. Angela, go read a book dear. It’s deeper and a great deal more complex than that.

The Spanish tell their sons and daughters they’re beautiful all the time. I was told that often. Most the time I ignored it: yeah, yeah whatever. But God, it never did me any harm.

Often holding back saying things to our children is damaging. The restraint reflects a kind of meanness which the child then spends their life trying to make up for. And doesn’t that meanness mean that the love is also contained? You only have to watch Gok Wan for ten minutes to see this. Mature women weeping over the fact they never felt beautiful. They were never told.

All the English need is more excuses to hold back. Where does it stop?

But isn’t the flip side of all this the ‘Parent Bore’? The Mum who spews a list of achievements at you about their son/daughter. Who whips out their phone and insists you look at 800 images of their child; who is competitive, dull and who you want to avoid forever more.

We seem comfortable watching others (Simon Cowell et al) telling our children they’re talented, brilliant, attractive, interesting etc.

Well, my insightful little Twitterers, it’s had the opposite effect one me: I’m now going to bombard my children even more with daily, hourly loving remarks. Because I’m not afraid. My children are beautiful, clever, talented, fascinating and charming. Aren’t yours?

http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/10-things-parents-shouldn%E2%80%99t-say-to-their-kids.html (for anyone who thinks they could benefit from the article…)

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Readers who submit articles must agree to our terms of use. The content is the sole responsibility of the contributor and is unmoderated. But we will react if anything that breaks the rules comes to our attention. If you wish to complain about this article, contact us here