Dear Kaye, My friend who is 52 years old recently split with her partner. My worry is that she has been spending all her free time on on-line gambling sites such as bingo, poker, betting & on-line casinos. I don’t know how much money she is spending but I just feel she is hiding away in a world that is unrealistic & maybe costly.

Caroline, Naphill.

Dear Caroline, I understand why you find this a worry. It would appear your friend is finding ways to distract herself from dealing with the pain of losing her partner.

Breaking up with a partner is a loss that some people find very hard to accept, for some it is like bereavement.

You mentioned it has been 5 months so perhaps it is time to talk to her. Try not to sound judgemental but do try to point out that she has friends around her who miss her company. By inviting her out and including her in social events, you will gradually bring her back to “the real world” where she can find a more healthy way to grieve for her loss. Be prepared for any support she may need regarding the break-up and her possible addiction to gambling. If she needs to talk it through with a counsellor, there are therapists who specialise in both relationships & gambling issues.

She is a lucky lady to have a friend like you who is concerned for her welfare. Best of luck to both of you, Regards, Kaye.

British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy www.bacp.co.uk

Click on seeking a therapist, put in your details & the website will list all counsellors in your area who specialise in your presenting issues.

KAYE Townsend is a qualified, BACP registered, person-centred counsellor with a private practice in Flackwell Heath, Bucks. She is currently writing a self-help book, write articles for various publications & work as a volunteer counsellor for a local charity.