Dear Kaye,

I feel ashamed and heartbroken at what I have done. I don’t want names published to protect my children and family but I feel the need to put pen to paper.

Three days before Christmas was our office party. I don’t remember much but I do know I found myself in an “intimate” situation with a man who also works for the company.

On waking in the morning, it dawned on me that I had not only risked my relationship but also my job. By Christmas Eve, my partner had been told of what happened by this man’s wife and he was so hurt, he told me to leave. You can just imagine the terrible scene that followed and has continued all through Christmas.

I spent the night back at my parent’s house when I should have been waking up to my children opening their presents.

I have tried to apologise and feel desperate to be back with my family but have no idea how to do this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated Kaye, I’m feel my world has fallen apart and I know it is all my doing.

Kaye writes:

As you would like to keep your autonomy, I have written a more detailed, personal email to you. For the purpose of this column, I would like to make a few suggestions should this be a subject that others have experienced.

My immediate heart strings are pulled at the thought of the children in this situation at any time of year but this situation has arisen at the one time when children want families to be together & full of the joys of the festive season. No doubt your partner feels this too & has struggled to keep a happy face for the sake of the children.

Perhaps you would both benefit from couple counselling where, in a safe environment, a therapist can guide you through your problems, helping you both to open up & look at the relationship together.

I really hope that reconciliation is possible and wish you all the best for the future for both you and your family.

Best Wishes, Kaye.

Suggested contacts are as follows:

British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy www.bacp.co.uk

Click on seeking a therapist, put in your details & the website will list all counsellors in your area who work with couples.

Relate Tel: 0300 100 1234 www.relate.org.uk Specialists in couple & family counselling.

Snowdrop Counselling Tel: 07518 227615 www.snowdropcounselling.co.uk Individual Counselling.

KAYE Townsend is a qualified, BACP registered, person-centred counsellor with a private practice in Flackwell Heath, Bucks. She is currently writing a self-help book, write articles for various publications & work as a volunteer counsellor for a local charity.