I’ll keep it short. It’s fairly self-explanatory.

Proud as I am of my new (new-to-me) laptop and old wheel-based cheese-grater, I wouldn’t tell anyone with any grandeur that I had either.

Possessing a Wii seems different. There’s a sort of misplaced boasting about a Wii.

I don’t have one. I don’t want one. I don’t know what they’re for. It’s another gadget.

It seems like I should be hysterical with awe at the people telling me they’ve got one. Seems a sad present for anyone to have got for Christmas. Am I wrong?

“Here kids, go and dance in front of the tele and leave me alone.”

I mean it’s not as if you can actually improve your tennis/dancing/yoga with one of these. The robot inside the device isn’t a sports person.

As usual with these things, I might have missed the point. Maybe they’re very expensive. (£33,000) and so that’s the real boast.

Maybe there’s some network like the Masons or Brownies you get signed up for once you buy one. And you can get work, buy qualifications and hustle your way through life without knowing anything.

Maybe people feel it really is like another family member – an adopted child, a long-lost relative, a pet.

I suppose the analytical explanation is to do with the work people have done to earn the wage to buy the Wii. It reinforces their status as employee/wanted worker/wage earner or something.

And it’s the same motive behind people telling other people about their cars, holidays or house extensions (yawn).

But there’s something very self-belittling about broadcasting your new Wii. Like telling me about your new toothbrush or shoelaces or telling me you’re on Facebook. (Facebook blog coming soon.) It seems so unimaginative and sort of demeaning.

Maybe it’s me. Things just bore me. (New things anyway.) If I'm wrong and have misunderstood the cultural and economic implications of the Wii, someone please enlighten me. Because until someone does, the new Wii will remain baffling and uninteresting.

Anyone want to know what my other Christmas presents were? Thought not.

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