I'VE finally decided that a change in career will do me good, and I'm going to accept the vacant position of Chief Executive of Wycombe District Council.

Admittedly, I haven't yet been offered the post of replacing the outgoing Richard Cummins. But it will only be a matter of time once councillors see my proposals and credentials.

Firstly, I will be happy to save taxpayers a bucket-load of cash by slashing the salary. Richard Cummins reportedly earned £100,000, so I'll be delighted to accept £60,000. That's still mega-money to most people and would do us very nicely thank you.

On that kind of salary, Mrs Mann could get a complete new wardrobe of cardigan, floral dress and hair curlers and we'd still have loads left to dine out for lunch every day at M&S.

Then I would help push through a massive cut in councillors, so that instead of 60 we'd have 30. No one would notice the difference frankly, and it would mean that no councillors would have to double up between the county and district because there would be enough people to go around.

Of course, I'd have to carry this out with the councillors' permission, but they surely couldn't resist my proposals when I showed them my cost-benefit analysis (on the back of my application envelope).

Then I'd have a meeting with that nice Mr Prescott and tell him that he mustn't allow anyone to build on the green belt in the district, and that he mustn't over-rule the council when it refuses permission. Will he listen? Well, I'll take Mrs Mann along to the meeting, so he'll have to.

I've got loads of other ideas on rubbish collection, housing and leisure and I will be delighted to discuss them at interview.

I could also report on the council's progress every week in this, my ever-popular column, so they would get a free communications service out of me as well.

So come on Wycombe district. Come and get me. You know I'm your Mann.