WELL that's it from me folks. After two and a half years of venting my spleen I've decided enough is enough.

As from next Tuesday I will be relinquishing my stranglehold on page six, and stepping out of the firing line that is Straight Talking.

Can't say I haven't enjoyed it though, because I have!

But as much as I would love to take all the credit for my rants, I think a lot has to go to High Wycombe for housing such a diverse mix of people.

On one side of the town we have the Tory-loving, 4x4-driving, pro-grammar school toffs. And on the other side of town a gigantic council estate full of benefit bludging scroungers.

Is there any surprise the town is marred by crime and disorder when there is a poverty gap that's wider than an obese school-kid's belt?

The town really is a depressive wasteland of empty furniture showrooms and "unaffordable" flats. For a town that is expanding so quickly the infrastructure simply can't keep up.

I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a congestion-free journey to work, or nipped into a local hostelry for a sub three quid pint.

The town centre boasts more greasy take aways than a third world ghetto, and I'm sick and tired of jarring my teeth every time my car passes over a pothole.

It all adds up to one hell of a mistake.

Which is why it still amazes me that people move here.

What does this town offer the average Joe Bloggs other than a shortage of on-street parking and a hospital that is losing some of its services to Stoke Mandeville?

The choice of town centre shops is appalling, unless you're a fan of second-hand goods, and let's just forget about the market because, well unless you need a cheap battery or a rotten pair of socks, it's not how I interpret the word market.

And that's before we've touched on the issues of on-street parking, anti-social behaviour, and speed cameras, not to mention the shortage of decent pubs.

Sandwiched between this rot we have an ageing population who seem to take great satisfaction out of criticising today's youth normally while they're queuing at supermarket check-outs. Which brings me onto Eden. This can only serve to attract more business to the town, hike property prices higher, and further cripple the town's infrastructure.

Fortunately by that time Straight Talking won't be the only thing I've kissed farewell to it will have been the bloody town as well!