IF there is one thing I can guarantee most pupils and I will disagree about, it is speed humps. They hate them and I like them.

I like them because they are effective at slowing traffic down where it really matters. They're not pretty and they're not perfect, but they work.

I remember one pupil who developed a hatred for humps after they caused her to fail a mock driving test, when she bounced over one at 28mph.

I knew that taking these humps above 20 was a bad idea but, to make the mock test as realistic as possible, I decided not to intervene as the first one loomed before us. However, at the last moment I lost my nerve and, in an attempt to get her to look at the road surface, commented: "Wet road today." But it was too little, too late.

Admittedly, the road markings were quite worn, but my pupil didn't actually notice the hump until we violently bounced up it and then juddered down the other side.

"Crikey!" she exclaimed. "Was that a flaming speed hump? Oh drat, I've messed up the flipping mock test now." (or words to that effect!) "Alright, alright, don't get the hump about it," I joked.

That day Miss Learner turned anti-speed hump and, after discussing the subject with friends and family, she came to her next lesson ready for a debate.

She said: "Did you know that when people speed up between humps they cause more pollution than if they were doing a steady speed on a normal road?"

"Yes, but you're not supposed to speed up much between them.

"That would kind of defeat the object, don't you think?" I replied.

"I suppose so," she said, "but they are dangerous at night because when cars go over them it looks like they are flashing their headlights.

"I could pull out by mistake and have an accident."

"But as a good driver, you wouldn't assume that someone flashing their lights was giving way to you. You would only respond when you saw them slowing down and stopping," I reminded her.

"Yeah, okay," she accepted. But humps wear out shock absorbers and damage cars underneath."

"If you go over a hump at an appropriate speed your car will be fine," I retorted.

"Hmm," she mused, "but going over humps can give drivers backache, or if you were standing on a bus you might fall over."

"Are you serious?" I laughed. "Ironing can give you backache and you might fall over your shoelaces one day, but nobody wants to ban ironing or shoelaces!"

"Okay, okay" she giggled, "but what about noise pollution? When lorries go over humps the people living nearby can't sleep."

I replied: "When empty lorries go over speed humps they can be very noisy, that's true. However, none of the humps in Wycombe are at the maximum height allowed, so it could be worse."

"But what about emergency vehicles?" she asked. "Humps slow them down when they are trying to save lives."

And this time she had me.

"Okay. That is a problem, yes," I agreed. "Look, speed humps aren't ideal, but they do slow traffic down and that saves lives too.

"Take Daws Hill Lane, for example. Hundreds of schoolchildren walk down that road every day and there used to be more than 20 injury accidents a year there.

"The council installed a speed camera, but it made no difference, so they removed it and put down speed humps instead and then there were only about five injury accidents in a year.

"The drivers who slowed down to pass the speed camera and then sped up again are now forced to slow down for the length of the road to protect their cars. It's a shame that some people are more concerned about their cars than children but, hey, at least the speed humps got a result."

Miss Learner gave up the argument at that point, but I know I didn't really win her over because whenever she saw humps after that she used to tut. The truth is, I wish we didn't have to put up with speed humps on our roads either, but until someone comes up with a better solution, I'm happy to lump it.

Audrey Wixon is director of Wycombe Driving School www.wycombedrivingschool.co.uk