Mann on Friday: Young 'uns shouldn't read Harry Potter - give them Chaucer

I AM seriously worried about the taste of young children these days after reading about the huge popularity of the Harry Potter stories.

Now, I have to confess that I have not read any of these books, but it alarms me that a craze has been created over a fictional boy who is a trainee wizard.

What on earth can these tales of hocus pocus be doing for the minds of impressionable youngsters?

In my day, we stuck to good old Enid Blyton. Not only was she a Beaconsfield gal, but most of her books were wholesome and grounded in real life.

I always dreamed of being a member of the Famous Five, although Mrs Mann tells me Julian and Dick wouldn't have approved of my flat feet slowing them up.

Admittedly, I wouldn't have wanted to ride nasty bikes with them and consort with a smelly mongrel dog. And I would have been a bit concerned about Georgina/George, on the grounds she was a cross-dresser.

But, at least I would have shared their views that men who grow beards are very odd. And at least the Famous Five could have been real people, unlike this Potter fellow who apparently fights mythical dragons.

Amazingly, bookshops all over this area had customers queuing to buy the latest Potter book as soon as it was published. These kids should be made to read Dickens and Chaucer, before they go off on flights of fancy and start believing in magical spells.

After all, look what happened when our Enid wrote silly books.

This sparked the worst schoolboy joke of all time: 'Why do goblins have Big Ears? Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.'

It also led to taunts against Yours Truly's rather large features. I had always thought I had a striking resemblance to Prince Charles, but my ego took a battering when kids ran up to me in the street, pointed to my ears and cried: 'Where's Noddy, then?'

Kids have to learn that wizards, Santa Claus and toytown men don't exist. For without a footing in reality, they will grow up to be town planners who put bus lanes and concrete balls in High Wycombe, and then tell us these initiatives are helping to save the world.