Mann on Friday: We Brits should win an Olympic gold medal for whingeing Mann on Friday: We Brits should win an Olympic gold medal for whingeing

SADLY, I shall be tucked up in bed tonight after a warm cup of cocoa when our great Olympian Steve Redgrave bids for his fifth gold medal.

Obviously I wish the Marlow Bottom man the best of luck, but his rowing event is on far too late for me to stay up and watch.

And, in many ways, I don't care to see it. That's no reflection on Redgrave, who is a wonderful sportsman.

It's just that his outstanding achievements serve to reinforce how mediocre this country is at the Olympics.

Sure, we've won gold at cycling and shooting, but we're still a backward nation in these tournaments.

Redgrave and his partner were the only Brits to win gold in the last Olympics - an absolutely embarrassing state of affairs. We're cockahoop this time because we've doubled that tally - but that's hardly earth-shattering.

You see, apart from Redgrave, we Brits aren't very good at the Olympics any more. It's high time they brought in some more sports we could win at.

I pondered on just what our national strengths could be and came up with the sport of whingeing. The Aussies would run us a close second, but I'm sure the UK would win gold every time.

This country has a proud tradition in recent years of moaning and always looking on the bleak side. We rarely pump anything up or see the good side. Our glass is always half empty rather than being half full.

We knock the Americans for being nave and gushy and we're so proud of our hard-bitten British cynicism. But really it's not cynicism - it's pessimism.

The Yanks succeed because they believe they will. The Brits tend to fail because we expect it and we're looking forward to making a joke about it afterwards. Only rarities such as Steve Redgrave buck the trend, because they have that essential self-belief and will to win.

Maybe it's the weather or maybe the disillusionment with the decline of our empire that's caused our nation to be such whiners. Whatever the case, it's time it stopped.

Yes, let's see whining as an Olympic sport. At least I'd stand a chance of making the national team in something.