After a long and tedious Thursday morning it was a relief when the time arrived for my regular lunchtime walk around Wycombe town centre. I was feeing particularly happy while walking from Frogmoor into Church Street but little did I know what was about to happen around the next corner.

Just past the Parish Church a squadron of pigeons swooped down on me. Quickly I ducked down and felt the air being moved by their wings as they flew just a few inches above my head. I moved towards the buildings for protection from further attacks but even this was not a safe place to be as suddenly something dropped from the sky on to the pavement in front of me just missing my head. Looking upwards I could see a line of pigeons sitting on the edge of the roof above me.

Something really needs to be done about the pigeons as they are causing a general nuisance. That very afternoon there was a news story on this site about plans to curb their numbers by building a dovecot with the intention of taking the eggs as method of controlling the pigeon population. These plans have been ongoing for months and it seems there has been more dithering than decision.

The dovecot has been put on hold as it would have cost £22k per year to maintain! Honestly £22k just to empty a bird box! How on earth do they come up with that figure? If the dovecot took an hour per week to empty that would be just £275 per year. So where does the other £21,725 come from? I can only guess but even with the provision of transport (a classic Rolls-Royce - £8k) and food for the worker after their tortuous hours work (a Fortnum & Masons hamper - £5.2k) there would still be £8,525 left!

The towns efforts to stop the pigeons can be compared to those of the cartoon characters Dastardly and Muttley. Whatever will the visitors to the new complex think if they are unfortunate enough to be the target of a pigeon raid in the town centre? From what I can see there is only one solution to the problem. Shoot them. It could be done quietly in the early hours of one morning and we would be rid of them once and for all.
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The author has left comments at 14.33, 14.34, 14.53, 15.19, 17.40, 17.53 on 03/02/08, 12.19, 20.48, 20.51, 20.55, 21.45, 21.59 on 04/02/08, 15.34, 16.17, 17.19 on 05/02/08 only. Any other comments left in the authors name are therefore NOT genuine.