AN INSPIRING woman from High Wycombe appeared in a BBC One documentary to talk about her mental health struggles and being autistic.
Fiona 'Fi' Hollings opened up about what it's like to have autism in a documentary starring Christine McGuinness.
The programme aired on Wednesday, March 15 where the former wife of Paddy McGuinness uncovers a hidden world of thousands of autistic women who, like her, have been ignored by science and society.
Fiona spoke to the Bucks Free Press about what it was like to go on camera to talk about her autism.
She discovered she was autistic after turning 25 but believes she's been autistic "her whole life."
She said: "Autism in women going unrecognised is not uncommon. Perpetuating masculine stereotypes and a misunderstanding of how autism can present are two important factors. That is why I hope that speaking about my story, my journey, helps broaden the understanding of what autism is, for people who know someone who is autistic and want to better support them, but also for the people who felt like I did for so many years – wrong, not fitting in, not understanding the world, who may be autistic too.
"I spoke about my autism diagnosis on national TV. I was part of the Christine McGuiness documentary ‘unmasking autism’. I have lost count of the number of times I doubted whether I felt able to be part of it, but I was.
"And the reaction I’ve had from the people around me, my family, friends, and individuals I don’t know who have contacted me to tell me how much it has helped them, have helped those anxieties lessen.
"Not just that, but it has helped me. I’ve realised I’m not alone, which as an undiagnosed autistic person growing up feeling lonely, confused, and exhausted, means more than I can explain."
Fiona spoke about her battle with anorexia which she's had since 14having spent many years in hospitals all over the country.
She said her autism led her to understand why she was battling with anorexia, having been told by multiple doctors, therapists and psychiatrists that it's concerned with her weight and shape.
She took part in nutritional education sessions and body image workshops "but they did nothing but make her feel worse."
"My issues around food were sensory related – I couldn’t stand, and still cant, certain textures, smells, and flavours.
"In my teenage years, all of this became too much and pushed me to attempt to take my own life. The dark pace you have to be in to genuinely think that the world would be better off without you is something I never want anyone else to feel.
"Unfortunately, things didn’t get better at that point. It resulted in more hospitals, lengthy admissions, being put on medication regimes that were too high for anyone, let alone a small 16 year old girl who was just lost, and exhausted.
"In 2020, I finally had that conversation with my psychiatrist. And it turns out, it was. I was autistic. Amid the lockdowns and waiting lists, it wasn’t until 2022 I had the final part of my autism assessment, and I will never forget the words the psychiatrist said to me. “Fiona, you are autistic, there is nothing wrong with you”
Fiona is still having treatment for anorexia but is on an autism-friendly treatment path that accommodates for her autistic needs.
Adding: "I want people to better understand autism and I hope in speaking about my experience that it may help someone else in a similar situation."
You can watch Christine McGuinness: Unmasking My Autism on BBC Iplayer here.
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules here