High Wycombe mum creates 'control board' to keep hectic family organised

Tired of feeling drained from carrying the 'mental load' for her family, Emma Berry Cowling, 37, created a 'family control board' to help them all keep organised.

Emma Cowling (Image: Emma Cowling)

With her husband Simon, 41, often working away, her eldest son Charlie, four, recently starting school and her youngest son, Joey, two, starting nursery three times a week, she had to get creative to keep track of their hectic schedules.

Her board includes four main sections - the first is tasks and activities that are prioritised into categories so that the parents know what to focus on first.

Next is a family weekly planner, featuring notes on which parent is doing each pick up and drop off for school and nursery, as well as meal planning for each family dinner.

Emma Cowling (Image: Emma Cowling)

Schoolboy Charlie then has his own weekly planner so he knows if he is expecting a regular school day or an after school club, what his lunch will be and even what the weather will be that day.

Finally, the family has an annual planner, including key dates such as birthdays, social occasions and school holidays.

Emma and Simon work through building the board together every week with a longer chat each month on the de-prioritised tasks that have been carried forward.

The board initially took hours to create with Emma and Simon using evenings to build it, but now the couple only have to spend around 20 minutes a week maintaining it.

The incredible control board has made a huge difference to the family and Emma has even shared her creation with other parents to help them get their own family lives organised too.

Business owner Emma, who lives in Downley, High Wycombe, with engineer Simon and their sons, Charlie and Joey, said: "I'm incredibly pleased with it.

"It's made a huge difference to all of us. I feel much more present with my family, without the constant noise of all the things that 'needed' doing.

"My husband is really pleased with it too, as it means everything is equal and visible, and there is no concern that one of us is doing things that aren't important right now.

"It's all about the 'mental load' for me, which is something I know many people struggle with.

"There are so many moving parts for us, with balancing work, renovating our house and looking after our two young sons, one of which has just started school whilst our youngest is in nursery.

"Trying to co-ordinate those elements with the daily, weekly and other tasks - large and small - felt stressful and overwhelming, especially with the launch of my own business.

"I have 20 years of experience in personal and professional improvement, and run my own business, 'Excellence Executive', where I help busy, highly driven professionals find time, reduce stress and thrive in their career.

"I knew there had to be a better way to keep my family organised so I applied my experience and qualifications to my home life and created the 'control board'.

"It's deliberately 'rough and ready' so it's a living thing. It should never be static, as life isn't.

"The sorts of things we have on the control board itself range from 'finance review' to sorting out our sons' outsized clothes, to larger jobs like decorating the halls and installing decking in the garden.

"They are all owned by my husband or myself, and sometimes we swap jobs or re-prioritise, but we talk about it and there are no arguments and so much less stress of carrying that mental load with me everywhere."

When creating the board, Emma focused on following three principles of simplicity, visibility and communication in order to organise her family's schedules.

Both Emma and Simon now feel less stressed and overwhelmed thanks to their clever board helping them to keep their family organised.

After friends and relatives asked how they could make their own board, Emma decided to set up classes and an online module in order to help people do it themselves.

Emma said: "I teach people to apply the principles of simplicity, visibility and communication to reduce stress and feeling overwhelmed.

"It's been received so well, and honestly, I'm so chuffed that it's helping people.

"That's what my business is about - focusing on removing the stress and inefficiencies from life so you can focus on the things most important to you.

"I know what works for us as a family, and basing the board on tools which have been in play for many decades, we built something that would work effectively.

"I think sometimes we forget to apply learnings we have elsewhere to our home lives, as we try to keep them distinctly separate.

"A rule I have is that we shouldn't be afraid of failure, as it's an opportunity to learn and grow, so we try new things, adapt and change."