AS I tuned in, full of trepidation, to Channel 4's Baby Bible Bashers on Thursday night I was really hoping I would witness nothing more than toddlers in their high chairs banging the good book on their tray demanding more milk.

Well aware that you probably couldn't make an hour-long documentary out of that kind of footage, I knew it wasn't likely, but it would have been so much more preferable than what I actually witnessed.

The Baby Bible Bashers in question were three fire and brimstone preachers - all of them without a doubt still young enough to watch CBeebies - spouting on about God and hell.

Of course it's bad enough watching adult religious zealots on documentaries like this - but this was positively tragic.

At the age when most kids haven't got a care in the world, or shouldn't have, these three were preaching on the streets and to packed-out congregations gullible enough to listen.

Having already seen programmes on baby ballroom dancers and baby beauty pageant queens, I thought I was pretty well prepared for the lastest installment of tasteless behaviour, bordering on child abuse, that TV had to offer me - but it still made me angry.

Seven-year-old Samuel's mother told us she had no idea why Sam had the urge to stand outside his local abortion clinic in Mississippi urging people not to go inside and kill their children'.

Hmmm, I don't suppose it had anything to do with his Bible bashing dad doing the same thing.

Once again, as with all religious extremists, Sam and his dad spent most of their time telling any passing members of the public interested enough to listen that they would be going to hell - always a source of amusement to me.

Why are they so bothered?

I can understand if they're bothered about going to hell themselves, but why do they care if anyone else is heading down that way?

And if the get out clause of going to hell' is to live the miserable and humourless existence that they have to endure, well then I'd rather just take my chances living it up now. I mean, surely there must be some good time girls in heaven - otherwise why would everyone want to go there?

One of the most frightening things about this documentary, apart from hearing a seven-year-old talk about abortion that is, was the gullible nature of the adults around them.

They all seemed willing to believe that Sam and his counterparts - a young girl from Rio with a screechy voice and a boy called Terry - were their salvation.

Screechy-voiced girl, who I couldn't listen to for more than two seconds before she went out of range due to the high pitch of her rants, apparently gives hope to the people of Rio, where the murder rate is higher than a warzone.

With such a screechy annoying tone, I'm surprised someone hasn't murdered her yet.

Meanwhile, according to Terry's family, his first word was hallelujah' but then it would have been if they had spent all day repeating it to him, in much the same way most people coach their babies to say mama' or dada'.

In fact, one of my nephews' first phrases was very nearly thank you, thank you very much' on account of the fact we are always playing Elvis dvds. Wow, it must be a miracle!

Anyway, one of the lighter moments (believe me, there weren't many) in the documentary came when Sam and his father were on their way to New York to convert a few unsuspecting souls.

During one sidewalk rant a police officer attempted to move them on, insisting they were causing an obstruction.

"You're going to hell," a flat-toned dad told the officer.

A bit nonplussed by it all the officer replied: "Yeah, well God told me to tell you to go to hell across the street."

It was all a bit confusing for the pair and it only got worse when they got to their destination and were given a hard time from cynical New Yorkers.

It was all too much for Sam, but then of course he is just seven. Shame on his dad for putting him through that.

Let's hope his God is a little kinder than he is.