The word ‘conservative’ comes up quite often. As does the word ‘tame’. These are things I don’t understand since most people I know have moved in from London.

On Sunday I learned about the ‘Bucks accent’ – apparently where the consonants get dropped. The Bucks lady I was talking to was a sporty girl at school but hated wearing her gym bloomers so regularly got out of PE. That’s definitely unique to Bucks.

The London way? You don’t want to do PE – they send you to Matron’s office where you borrow a kit (meant for a girl three times your size) and you flaming well take part. Ahhh, the times I was seen rattling around in someone else’s gym shorts and aertex top on the hockey field…

Another difference. I once left my son’s go-kart outside our flat in London one night and it was never to be seen again.

Here? I’ve left my daughters’ pram, scooter, skates and jumpers outside for weeks (in summer) and they’ve either been placed politely in a visible place or just left where they are.

And as for graffiti, the youth here are so well served at home, their efforts at vandalism are apathetic (which I’m glad about.)

On the sign that indicates you’re entering Chesham Bois, someone had sprayed something (neatly) on it. It didn’t even make sense but had a vaguely controversial word in it.

It was erased. The sprayed message returned. It was erased. The youths gave up: it’s been clean ever since.

Wealthy kids experimenting with ghetto tricks. “Ah, let’s go play pool in our games room instead Oscar.” You can’t be a gangsta in da hood when Daddy have gold club membership and three cars on their gravel drive.

But there are bigger lifestyle choices which separate the Bucks people from the ‘others’. It’s not to do with where you were raised: Bucks people can be from anywhere. It’s a mind-set and a perspective.

When confronted with severe Bucks-ism, I thrust a lot of information about me that’s probably most unwelcome.

I like Bucks very much so let’s not have a lot of comments about ‘why don’t you go back to London?’ I consider myself lucky to live in this magnificent county and enjoy the qualities that the Bucks crowd and their thinking permit.

It’s that I find it hard to relate to a lot of people here because of their nicely planned lives and my… well… scatty, wayward life.

A graduate. Married with two children. Running my own business. That sounds very Bucks, surely.

Well not in the small print. It’s the order in which I did things and the way I punctuated my life’s events. Not the place to go into detail here.

Yet I still can’t fathom the Bucks mentality. How do people who’ve lived and worked in London come here and become unaware of race issues? Or the variety of crime that exists in other parts of the country/world. Or claim not to understand the needy or the neglected or the poor?

I’ve eavesdropped on parents talking in a scaremongering way to their nice Bucks children about the dangers of ‘hoodies’ (don’t for God’s sake wear your designer hooded top to the gym – there are people out there who will be threatened by you.)

I’ve heard members of parish councils smirking about the issue of affordable housing: ‘Well I can’t live in Mayfair can I?’ No, but I think you should be banished there just to give you a taste of how badly you’d fit.

And then there are the Bucks folk who won’t entertain the idea of really foreign food. It explains the bland Indian restaurants in Amersham but doesn’t make sense to me.

I’m told that people who move here from London don’t like London so they settle here - a place which supports and agrees with their politics and outlook. Maybe that includes me.

What do I like about here?

The peace. The beautiful setting with its glorious history in every corner. The child-friendly environment. The country fairs and village fetes. The charitable character of residents (see Tesco’s food for the needy basket full every day.) The proximity to London...

What don’t I like?

The constant plea for charity donations. The obsession with dogs. The blinkered outlook of many. Wheelie bins and road signs (I like to photograph you see…)

So maybe I’ve moved to the wrong county or maybe I’m just where I should be. It serves my own need to complain about something, my belief that I’m in middle England (you know, living with the kind of callers that take part in Radio 4 programmes) and some of my more conservative opinions.

But modest Bucks is my home and yes, I feel privileged to be here. I’m not a Bucks woman, never will be but find myself ‘quite content with my situation’.