Not hysterical, not frightening but plain and caring. Children and their parents can finally feel they can rely on some sort of rules. There haven’t been any up to now really.
Sweets from strangers (which is what I grew up with), lifts from strangers, suspicious men lurking near schools… how stupid. Devised somehow to leave our vulnerable even more exposed.
We were too frightened to think that the threats come mostly from people the abused knew: fathers, uncles, teachers, priests, neighbours… It’s still the case.
Abuse relies on trust, so who’s best placed to build trust? Those close to our children (see above.) In the dark, frightening world of abuse and abusers, we weren’t prepared to think the worst.
I don’t know whether the horror of Jimmy Savile’s record over decades has shifted society a bit. In more than a few ways he seems to represent the archetypal abuser: known to many, a sort of avuncular figure, kind to children, a bit silly (appeals to young people) and most importantly such a good man. Pah. May he not rest in peace.
Abuse is a quiet, secretive crime. Children won’t scream when someone they know is touching them inappropriately because their trust of the perpetrator implies that what they’re doing is OK.
I feel that sexual abuse is very widespread. It doesn’t have to involve rape or a savage attack.
I’d like to think that the NSPCC will soon make a similar ad with the voice of a young boy: the pants rule applies to these young people too.
Taboo subjects are another way that abusers maintain that vital, oppressive silence. We’ve rid ourselves of whole lists of taboos and come to look differently on people who were once shunned: single mothers, the poor, the disabled, the mentally ill.
A part of me still despairs thinking that a whole section of society still believes paedophiles are shifty, ‘weird’ creepy men.
They are people of both sexes, all ages and professions, single, married, of any nationality…
A society where vulnerable people are being abused creates more abusers, more grief (yes, in the true sense: paedophiles steal and dispose of innocence and childhood), drink and drug problems, anxiety, depression, low self-worth… I could go on.
So a full-hearted cheer to the NSPCC and a plea for people to absorb this as part of their family responsibilities. They must talk about it at school and at home, ask questions and trust their own feelings: it mustn’t be an off-limits subject.
It’s only a blog on a regional county newspaper but pass it on: you will have done a good deed for the day. Perhaps even moved someone from being abused to someone who exposes their abuser. Think about that.
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules here